Work, life and things in between – Day 64 – Sleep the night away!
9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. If I were not in a serious relationship I would say this is better than sex! I don’t want to worry him though, so I’ll keep quiet! Also, I know a can of worms when I see one! Not going there! Let’s just say this was a good night’s sleep.
My dream is still fresh in my mind. I was telling my friends, real friends I could recognize, that I knew I was not ready to go back to work because I was still short tempered. Then one of them turned to me, and said: “Maybe you will never be ready to go back”.
Well. I am glad this dream did not come with a short sleepless night. At least, I was rested in the morning to face it.
Is this what is bugging me really? They say that dreams manage the subconscious part of your life you need to deal with but won’t.
So, am I worried I will not want to go back to work?
In a way I think yes, this is starting to raise its ugly head. Actually, and to be more precise, I am worried I will not want to go back to work. I believe I could always land a job. I am just not sure I will want to. At least, not the types I have had in the past.
So, really, I am still on track and maybe this is not an ugly head…perhaps it is an angel in disguise… I need to reinvent my job. This much I know, and it is not new news.
What is new is the endless source of interests rising to the surface that I wish to explore.
In time, I will have to decide: Not going back to my established career and seeking to find my passion is just a spoiled brat’s fancy life illusions or is it fundamentally what I need to do? (assuming I find what it is)!
Secretly, and with a certain amount of embarrassment, I must admit that this soul searching comes with a certain level of guilt and discomfort. Hard to explain.
First, from the time you are a young child, you are trained not to be idle. “Go out and play, don’t just sit there”! In adulthood, this translates into “Go get yourself a job. Don’t just sit there”! and once you have one, it is “Don’t you have work to do?”
So, to take time off and think, be idle, draw and take walks in the wood is a bit of a re-education. Something you feel you have to justify somehow.
A bit twisted wouldn’t you say? Should I call my Shrink? I am pretty sure I kept his number. To day 65.