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Work, Life and things in between – Day 60 – Old habits die hard!

Work, Life and things in between – Day 60 – Old habits die hard!

You have heard of Pavlov? He trained his dogs to behave in a predictable manner.  Something to do with bells and whistles!

My children, my ex and I have spent fifteen years together as a family.  We have been out of that family for more years than we have been in it by now.  That night, for my son’s graduation from culinary school, we got together to celebrate and I was amazed at how much of the old patterns were ingrained.

No matter how much we have evolved since the separation, it seemed that we fell right back into who we were.  Is this nostalgia? Sub consciousness? A genuine effort to keep everyone comfortable by repeating the familiar patterns?  Or maybe nothing at all and this was all in my head. Not sure.

It felt like running 2 computers side by side; one screening the present and one screening the past and constantly going back and forth between the two…a huge strain on the brain.

After the ceremony we had cocktails, then dinner.  It was a lovely evening.  Nothing wrong with it. I will always welcome such times when we can be a family again, regardless of how elusive it is.

However, by the time I dropped myself on the back seat of the cab, I had a splitting headache and when the alarm clock went off at 5 am the next morning, my head was still throbbing.

Tem dropped me off at the airport on time for me to check my luggage, clear security and make it to the gate just as we began boarding. Temperature at destination was + 6.  It would appear that someone had flipped this country inside out over the week-end.

I am always so happy to get home.  This continues to be on my unsolved mystery list.  How will I reconcile my life with most loved ones in Montreal and my home in Vancouver?  So far, I am working at staying on track to prove that I can have my cake and eat it too.  Time will tell how this will unfold. To day 61.