Work, life and things in between – Day 30: On the bridge!
Still in Montreal. I am meeting with a former colleague and a longtime friend for dinner tonight. She and I used to work together many years ago. I was her client. We rocked!
I am meeting with her because it is her birthday and because I enjoy her company. She has such an appetite for life. She is full of projects and her energy and passion are contagious. She is a feel good kind of person.
Turns out she has a business plan for me, if interested. Plans that would bring me to Montreal mostly. Before I know it, I am trying to see how I can make it work. Before I can even determine whether I would like it or not, I am trying to fit in, as if I had to take everything that comes my way. Luckily, my warning bells go off and she quickly picks up on this.
She gracefully offers me an out by agreeing that we should revisit this topic in the New Year. Yeah! Let’s wait until the New Year. This way I can continue to procrastinate and not have to decide what I want to do!
Sometimes admitting your weaknesses buys you time to deal with them!
In fact I am confirming the theory that in order to be able to work towards the future successfully, one needs to let go of the past. You might think that this is an obvious statement but believe me, reading it and living it are 2 things!
My desire to procrastinate and sit on this stems from the fact that I am not sure I want to let go of all that needs to go in order for me to make the shift from a jet set corporate life to a self employed “do it all yourself and good luck with that” model! I sense that there is something very final with this decision….and final is scary. Every time. Besides, self-employment does not come with a 911 number. You’re on your own baby! you just hope that your parachute will open.
It reminds me of a very dear and very wise friend of mine who at the time was more than a friend! As we were hiking in the woods, we came across a bridge. He handed me a stick. I gave him a puzzled look.
“Throw it in the river” he said. So I did. Then we stood there.
“Now what?” I asked. “Now we stay here until it comes back” he replied. The stick? “yes” he replied. “Well that is stupid” I said. He smiled….”I’m glad to hear you say that. If you think that way then perhaps you will agree to move on and let go of whatever it is you are holding on to. It is gone and not coming back!” Gone Baby gone as Dennis Lehane would write!
Sometimes we do stupid things….just because we don’t see them. So, today talking about my future business plan requires of me to let go of a few things . I am sure of that but I am not done identifying what they are…Mostly, I am not quite ready to put a label on everything and decide what goes and what stays..if anything.
Somehow, I don’t quite feel the water rising yet and I believe I need to get my feet wet a bit more. To day 31. Still in Montreal. I am meeting with a former colleague and a longtime friend for dinner tonight. She and I used to work together many years ago. I was her client. We rocked!
I am meeting with her because it is her birthday and because I enjoy her company. She has such an appetite for life. She is full of projects and her energy and passion are contagious. She is a feel good kind of person.
Turns out she has a business plan for me, if interested. Plans that would bring me to Montreal mostly. Before I know it, I am trying to see how I can make it work. Before I can even determine whether I would like it or not, I am trying to fit in, as if I had to take everything that comes my way. Luckily, my warning bells go off and she quickly picks up on this.
She gracefully offers me an out by agreeing that we should revisit this topic in the New Year. Yeah! Let’s wait until the New Year. This way I can continue to procrastinate and not have to decide what I want to do!
Sometimes admitting your weaknesses buys you time to deal with them!
In fact I am finding out that in order to be able to work towards the future successfully, one needs to let go of the past. You might think that this is an obvious statement but believe me, reading it and living it are 2 things!
My desire to procrastinate and sit on this stems from the fact that I am not sure I want to let go of all that needs to go in order for me to make the shift from a jet set corporate life to a self employed “do it all yourself and good luck with that” mode! I sense that there is something very final with this decision….and final is scary. Every time.
It reminds me of a very dear and very wise friend of mine who at the time was more than a friend! As we were hiking in the woods, we came across a bridge. He handed me a stick. I gave him a puzzled look.
“Throw it in the river” he said. So I did. Then we stood there.
“Now what?” I asked. “Now we stay here until it comes back” he replied. The stick? “yes” he replied. “Well that is stupid” I said. He smiled….”I’m glad to hear you say that. If you think that way then perhaps you will agree to move on and let go of your past you are holding on. It is gone and not coming back!” Gone Baby gone as Dennis Lehane would write!
Sometimes we do stupid things….just because we don’t see them. So, today talking about my future business plan requires of me to let go of a few things . I am sure of that but I am not done identifying what they are…Mostly, I am not quite ready to put a label on everything and decided what goes and what stays..if anything.
Somehow, I don’t quite feel the water rising yet and I believe I need to get my feet wet a bit more. To day 31.