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    Gisele is a Certified Executive Coach working with leaders seeking to enhance their leadership presence. See her profile.

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    Work, life and things in between – Day 95 – Where is the heart?

    Feedback!  One of our assignments that week from University was to give each other feedback and learn to play with this: How to give, how to receive.  In the workplace it is easy to bypass the heart and just look at the work to be done.  Much simpler that way.  After 20 years in Human Resources you would think I have been around the block with this and frankly I feel, I have.

    But that was different.  That was feedback from mature, professional, trained (or trainee) coaches, who had read the books, and done the exercises.  Been there, done it. There was a whole lot of thoughts and truth about what they said.

    And what they said to me, besides the good stuff (it is easy to overlook the good stuff) was that it would serve me well to connect my heart and my head.

    ! There is that head again (aka brain).

    At first I was thinking that I was showing up in that team as one heartless player and it really bothered me because, honestly, I took my heart to these meetings.  I liked the team.

    But no, this was not not it (I asked)…I took my heart to them, they admitted, I just did not let them get to mine that easily…..Interesting twist!

    To be totally honest, that was not the first time I heard such comments.

    Of course, I wanted to say “Look, for the number of times I have tried to put myself out there and gotten no response for it, I have decided to stay in my cage.  Much safer there”..but that is an old line.  Everyone uses that line.

    So, it sent me into the thinking mode (how easily I go there) trying to understand how to do that, connecting my heart with my head, but then I remembered what she said. “Don’t think about how it feels, just feel it.

    Are we talking guts here?

    It was in fact a very interesting exercise.  A lot around visualization.  Like an internal x-ray of your emotional process…..    stuff happens and it goes straight to the head.  Head rejects it and sends it back to heart.  Heart is upset because it does not want to deal with it….and now tries to send it back to head….you get the idea!

    This is where feedback steps in.  It stands in between these two and demands a settlement: call it forceful mediation!  You shall deal with it!

    Once it is forced upon it, then heart rises to the task, opens up and embraces the feeling…hicky at times…but mostly very informative and liberating.

    Man!  life was simple when all I had to do was to fix breakfasts, tie shoe laces and pack lunch boxes.  There was no time for internal heart/head battles then….

    But then again, this may be the reason why these battles are showing up now!

    All part of growing up I guess.  It is only noon.  I am exhausted and I have friends coming over for dinner tonight. I sure hope they will want to talk about the Hockey game…anything deeper than that and I am checking out! To day 96.

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